Insomnia

I have it. It's slowly killing my brain. I am exhausted all the time. I feel that so-tired-that-you-can't-sleep tired, like when you are 9 months pregnant, can't breathe, can't lay down comfortably, and your mind runs in endless circles. Or that I-have-a-new-baby-at-home-who-needs-to-eat-in-30-minutes-so-what's-the-point-of-sleeping sleep pattern. My baby doesn't eat every 30 minutes, he sleeps much better than I do, and I am not pregnant. It's just me.

For the past week, I've been averaging between 5-6 hours of sleep per night. Granted, it isn't 3-4 hours as mentioned in the earlier examples. (I am the kind of person that needs 8-9 hours of sleep per night. No exceptions) It is just enough to keep me functioning at a very slow, foggy, level. A level that keeps me functioning until about 1pm and then I fall down in exhaustion. And crankiness. At night, I fall asleep easily, but can't stay asleep. I wake up with thoughts of painting walls, furniture arrangement, rug placement, and new curtains. I think about school districts, no sidewalks, big yards, and new neighbors. Is there a theme here?

Yawn. It is 5:50 am. I have been up for two hours. K is laying on the couch watching Little Bear. She has insomnia too. She got up at 4:30 this morning and then I put her back to bed. I, of course, couldn't go back to sleep. She woke up again around 5:30. The rule is she can either lay on the couch or in her bed, but she is NOT playing or eating breakfast until the clock says 6. Ha. The rule used to be "until the clock says 7". Ahhh those were the days.

I suspect her mind is running in circles too. Talk of this "new house" that we keep visiting that sits empty. Talk of her friend, G, and how he'll come visit her in her new house and play with her toys. Talk of her "big girl room" and how it will have all her things in it, including her new quilt.

Here she is now, tugging at my leg. "C'mon Mommy. The clock says SIIIIX. I want cereal!"

Hopefully, I'll find the coffee pot through the fog.