Joys of two

Not two years old...that's not what I'm blogging about today. It's having two children. I knew I always wanted to have at least two. After meeting my husband and his family (five sisters, 2 1/2 brothers), I thought I'd like to have like FIVE! ha ha Then after having K, I thought three sounded nice. But now, having K and J, two sounds great.

I have about eleventeen (!) friends who are pregnant right now! They are all on their second child...hooray for all of you! Last year at this time, I was the one pregnant with my second child. And my anxiety and fears were at an all time high. I mean, you worry when you are pg with the first. But when you are pg with your second, you worry about that baby PLUS your first and how his/her life will never be the same. Sure, in your mind, you know it will be great for them to have a little sibling, but in your heart it is hard to imagine how you can love the second as much. Nevermind how the first might NOT love the second. And the Mommy guilt starts early as to how you might be "ruining" the first's life. (I see you all nodding your heads!)

J turns four months old tomorrow. And I have to say, it's hard remembering a time without him here. It's hard imagining my house filled with just the noises of K's singing. Now I hear J...cooing, talking, giggling, and crying right along with K's singing and endless chatter. My house feels empty if one of them is not here. And honestly, K wonders where J is if she does not see him in the room. And Jack l for her in every room he is in.

The other morning, I put J in the portable swing and jumped in the shower. K was playing upstairs with us but she was in her room reading books. (I always put J's portable swing where I can see him from the shower...just in case.) He was content so I allowed myself to take a long, hot, NICE shower (as opposed to the wash as fast as you can so you can get out and make sure the kids are fed, pottied, clothed, comforted, wiped up, read to, played with, sang to, held, kissed, cleaned, etc. shower)!

When I got out of the shower, J was obviously watching K by the smile on his face and the way his eyes were twinkling. (They don't twinkle like that for anybody else) I couldn't see K. As I dried off, I peeked further out the bathroom door and found my sweet girl. She was sitting there in front of his swing with a pile of books at her left. She was reading to him. She was sharing her beloved books with her baby brother. She told him stories about Elmo, Big Bird, and Pooh. She told him about the bunny named Nicholas and how he ventures through each season. She read him her fave Mouse Mess and didn't skip a word b/c she has it memorized by heart. She read to her little brother. I tried not to disturb their moment; they were so content with each other, speaking in their own language. sniff sniff. (Seriously, I can bawl just typing about it)

So there you have it all my pg friends. Set your fears aside for just one minute. Two is wonderful. It's easy to get caught up in the worry, fear, anxiety, and dread of how having a second baby will change your first baby's life. But there are sooo many of these moments where you just KNOW their lives are soo much better now.

I gotta go get a kleenex.