This is a hard post for me to write. But I will write it. I am forcing myself to share it. Saying it "out loud" makes it real. And I need it to be real. Not for you to hold me accountable, but for ME to be accountable and ask for support.
I need to lose 59 pounds.
Nope. It's not a typo.
Fifty-nine. (Which I have to say sounds much easier than sixty (gasp!))
I'm not sure how it happened, but somewhere throughout the past (too many) years, I have managed to totally disregard my body. Along the way, my self-confidence has taken a nosedive, my mood is more often crappy than not, and my general outlook is much suckier (yep, suckier!) than what is normal for me.
While pregnant with Jack, I had gestational diabetes. I was terrified about it's impact on him and did very well managing my blood sugar with diet alone. I went to the class provided by my local hospital, learned how to check my blood sugar and learned all about simple sugars, complex carbohydrates, protein, blah blah blah. Basically, no more fast food and Coca-Cola. And no more meals of pasta, bread, sugary dessert, and uh...food coma anyone?
Throughout the end of my pregnancy and post pardom, I lost thirty pounds. Yep. Thirty. I felt AWESOME. I've unfortunately gained alot of that back. Which is too bad b/c it would be much less intimidating (and embarassing) to have posted "I need to lose 29 pounds". But I am looking forward, not back and am no longer in the "contemplative state". I have moved into the "Get off my ass and do it state."
As you have probably read, I have recently had some health issues. While they aren't necessarily related to my weight, being overweight certainly doesn't provide any help. Nothing like two surgeries in two weeks to get you thinking about the "big picture" and re-prioritizing. So it is time.
I am ready for this.
I don't plan on posting the ins and outs and ups and downs in detail here, but will post general progress updates. Feel free to share your wisdom, inspiration, positive feedback, and comments as I go along this journey.
Maybe sending some positive "get off your ass" vibes would be helpful too....
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5 comments:
I am so with you. I have 53 to lose and that's just to be "okay" - I have like 73 to go to be where I was on my wedding day. Thankfully, I'm tall as hell so I carry my weight very well but that doesn't make it any less craptastic.
It is damn hard. The older I get, the harder it is.
You can so do this, Nicki! If you are ever interested, I would LOVE to make plans for us to either walk a couple times a week, or even take a class together once this baby comes if it's anything you're interested in. I would love to loose at least 45 pounds by next September, and I'll need all the help and motivation I can get. :)
Oh, and someone from Europe totally looked at your blog! I'm so jealous! ;)
I have about 63lbs to lose and woke feeling the same today. I'm glad I came across your blog today.
I am not tall at all, so I'm looking like and oompa loompa! I had my last child 8 years ago.. and lost all of the weight. Can't blame it on that. I've put on all the weight and more. it sucks.
You'll do this! It's obvious that you're committed to it. Get a Wii Fit! Seriously! We got one recently and it's fun and easy to do it for a bit every day. It might be a good way for you to get started and then add to it as you go on.
Oh Nicki, You should really take Shades of Gray's offer. Do something together!!! I have found that it is SO MUCH easier to get fit if you have a buddy who will make you be accountable. Good luck and don't get discouraged. You will fall off the wagon once or twice, but you'll get back on and be OK!!! :)
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