Sadness

I hate to be a bummer, but need somewhere to express this, so feel free not to read on. I found out late this afternoon that my ex-step nephew died. He was just a young man in his early twenties. It's a strange thing. Divorce. Death. What is the proper protocol here?

My father is divorced. His ex wife, has a son, who married a woman, who had two children from a previous relationship. He is one of the children....but all grown up. I remember this young man as a young boy, early teen, goofy,laughing, forever smiling. Joking around with everyone. Clearly adoring his younger sister. I have not stayed in touch with them since my father and their grandmother divorced. Well, I have talked with his sister via Myspace in the past. She is in the Air Force and makes me beam with pride when I think about that. (Go girl!)

This young man had ongoing health issues since early childhood and I remember hearing about him being hospitalized not long ago. One always assumes people will recover/get better/ go back to their lives.

I don't know the circumstances of his death. I just know that he died. It makes me sad. And I'm not sure why I feel guilty about feeling sad? Maybe, guilty for losing touch with this young man, who was family for several years. Does anyone ever really stop being family? Divorce is such a strange thing. Sides seem to be chosen, indirect contact takes the place of direct contact. Now he is gone. I am so sad for his mother, his father, his Grandmother, and most of all, his baby sister. They were as close as any two sibilings I ever saw.

This is random, run-on, tangential, choppy . I know this. It is how I feel right now. Random, run-on/run-over, tangential, choppy. And sad.

Rest in peace Kevin.