My daughter is turning two in a few weeks and I have to say, this is a difficult stage for ME. I say that because a breakdown occurred at our house a few hours ago that included crying, blubbering, and high pitch, unrecognizable gibberish.... and it all came from ME.
K is in that developmental struggle between being a big girl vs. a baby. She has a strong will (to say the least) and is definitely in a phase of testing limits. While I knew two would be a difficult age for her, no one ever told me how it would impact ME. I didn't know I could so easily be reduced to tears of frustration and feelings of failure. I didn't know that as she struggled developmentally, I'd struggle even more by questioning every decision I make on a daily basis, as well as question my maternal instict and general knowledge base.
Sometimes I feel like the worst mother in the world. While I know I cannot take credit for her vivid imagination, her sweetness, or her accomplishments, why is it that I take the blame for the misbehavior, frustration, and moodiness that is "two"? It is every mother's delimma I suspect. At least, I hope. I hope this is normal. I hope I can keep trying to be the best mommy I can, and allow my brain to take over when my heart breaks during these emotionally charged times. My baby girl is growing up and while my brain tells me her struggle is normal, it is hard not to take some of her struggles personally.
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