Am I really going to post this?

This is a hard post for me to write. But I will write it. I am forcing myself to share it. Saying it "out loud" makes it real. And I need it to be real. Not for you to hold me accountable, but for ME to be accountable and ask for support.

I need to lose 59 pounds.

Nope. It's not a typo.

Fifty-nine. (Which I have to say sounds much easier than sixty (gasp!))

I'm not sure how it happened, but somewhere throughout the past (too many) years, I have managed to totally disregard my body. Along the way, my self-confidence has taken a nosedive, my mood is more often crappy than not, and my general outlook is much suckier (yep, suckier!) than what is normal for me.

While pregnant with Jack, I had gestational diabetes. I was terrified about it's impact on him and did very well managing my blood sugar with diet alone. I went to the class provided by my local hospital, learned how to check my blood sugar and learned all about simple sugars, complex carbohydrates, protein, blah blah blah. Basically, no more fast food and Coca-Cola. And no more meals of pasta, bread, sugary dessert, and uh...food coma anyone?

Throughout the end of my pregnancy and post pardom, I lost thirty pounds. Yep. Thirty. I felt AWESOME. I've unfortunately gained alot of that back. Which is too bad b/c it would be much less intimidating (and embarassing) to have posted "I need to lose 29 pounds". But I am looking forward, not back and am no longer in the "contemplative state". I have moved into the "Get off my ass and do it state."

As you have probably read, I have recently had some health issues. While they aren't necessarily related to my weight, being overweight certainly doesn't provide any help. Nothing like two surgeries in two weeks to get you thinking about the "big picture" and re-prioritizing. So it is time.

I am ready for this.

I don't plan on posting the ins and outs and ups and downs in detail here, but will post general progress updates. Feel free to share your wisdom, inspiration, positive feedback, and comments as I go along this journey.

Maybe sending some positive "get off your ass" vibes would be helpful too....

Marketing idea

Biter biscuits are such a lovely little convenience. They keep your teething baby occupied for at least ten minutes. They are soothing to gummy little whiners who need to fulfill their need to bite bite bite. I think they should at least throw in a few handiwipes in the box.

You should see the highchair.

Fun and games

My daughter is fast approaching three. Like, in two and a half weeks. While three brings along its own challenges, it also brings along so much fun.

K loves playing games. Hide and seek, tag, Candyland, Memory. And games we make up, like "tickle". Last night, while we were laying in bed telling stories, I incorporated a "poke" into the story. You know, the main character had a stick and poked the mysterious object. So I reached over and poked her in the rib. She giggled hysterically and said, "Don't poke me, Mommy!" Which of course, made me poke her more. Her laugh is an infectious as her baby brother's, so I began laughing hysterically as well (and we were both very tired!). Then we stopped so we could finish the story.

While I quickly summed up the mysterious object mystery, she reached over and gave me a poke in the arm. She said, "Poke." Why is this so funny? (I know, those of you reading are probably saying, "It's not.") But to me, it was hilarious. Even now, I am laughing about it. She is so funny. This morning, she asked to play the poke game again. "C'mon Mommy! Let's play POKE!" Everything is a game. Everything gets a laugh.

My husband posted this video on his blog, "cooking with kids". In case you missed it, check it out.

There is nothing like this sweet, sweet laughter. We are lucky enough to get to hear this every single day. If I could bottle it, I would be a millionaire.

Big smiling boy

J had his nine month checkup this morning. How is this possible? How can that kicking, hiccuping, up all night, heartburn causing, sob inducing sweet baby boy have been out of my belly for NINE MONTHS already? Time really does go by too fast. In a heartbeat I will be waving to him as he heads off to Kindergarten with his backpack in hand. Ho hum. Not yet, sweet boy, not just yet.

J is 29 inches tall (50-75th percentile) and weighs 20 pounds, 4 ounces (50th percentile). He started crawling last Monday, right across the playroom to Grandma M. He hasn't stopped since. He crawls to a destination, and promptly wants to stand up. When he stands up, he wants to be walking around. Are you getting the picture? Another first is that while crawling across the rug to ME ME ME, he said "ma ma ma". Sob. I know! Isn't that wonderful? Okay, it could be the pain meds, it could be PMS, it could just be being a Mommy. Anyway, it was beautiful.

He eats small pieces of soft foods now. Like real green beans and carrots, not the pureed kind. Daddy is still making him all kinds of yummy, healthy foods. In the freezer now are rice, pork, chicken, navy beans, beets, sweet potato, apples, peaches, peas, green beans, carrots...he loves it ALL. He eats noodles, crackers, cheerios, bananas. He drinks water out of his sippy cup, but isn't quite convinced he should drink an entire serving of milk out of one yet.

He is still as happy-go-lucky as ever. He is seriously the sweetest baby I have ever known. His teething (he has six showing!) makes him a little grumpy from time to time, but overall he is just so good. So easy to smile. So easy to giggle. My little lump of sweet. That's my nickname for him, "sweet". (Said in a nice mommy-way, not in an obnoxious South Park way)

It's hard to believe this was him just a few months ago, sitting in his car seat on the patio of our old house, taking in some fresh air on the day we came home from the hospital. My sweet.

Papa was a Rollin' Stone...

There are a lot of songs with "stone" in it.

I am home again resting after the second lithotripsy. Last week's surgery went different than expected, as the surgeon found a stone imbedded in the right ureter, so had to take it out. Then, he broke up the stone in the right kidney and put a stint in. Recovery was, well, not as easy as I had hoped. My plan to return to work on Tuesday ended up being a return to work on .... Saturday.... if that tells you anything.

So this morning I went back in to have the stint removed from the right side and the left kidney stone broken up. He put a stint in the left side. fun fun My expectations are more realistic and I don't plan on being worth much at all until Thursday/Friday. Hopefully knowing what to expect will help my week go a little smoother.

Thanks for all your thoughts/prayers/emails/phone calls! They've helped tremendously!

And a big, fat THANK YOU to Mrs. K for keeping my kids extra last week and this week. I cannot tell you how much easier surgery/recovery is when I know that my kids are safe, happy, and with someone they love! (And who loves them right back!) You are truly the sister I never had!