Not verility, not victory, not vagina. The big "V" in our house is the ol' snip snip. Vasectomy.
We have two, beautiful, healthy children whom we worked VERY HARD to get. Months and months of trying, failure, fertility consultations, testing, more testing, fertility treatment, curses, failure, and finally success. Twice. And one miscarriage along the way.
D and I have big plans for retirement. We want to travel the world and enjoy the freedom that retirement (hopefully) has to offer. We want to see our children grown, married, with families of their own. We want to spoil our grandkids, get into trouble for giving them too much candy, too many toys, too little sleep and sending them back to their parents exhausted, yet hyped up with two days of recovery ahead until they return to normal. (I like to call it "payback"!)
While I am soooo grateful and content with my children and know the toll that pregnancy takes on my body, there is this piece of me that is saddened by the thought of not being pregnant again. All my life I've known I wanted to be a mommy. I've waited and waited to be in this stage of my life and love every minute of it. I loved being pregnant, even during the difficult times. The thought of not "feeling life" growing inside me again saddens me. But I wonder if that is just a normal part of transitioning into a new phase of life?
D is 100% sure he is done having babies. I am, well, 98% sure. I can't imagine adding another person into our cozy, happy family. I can't imagine asking my babies to give up a little more of our attention to make room for another baby. Yet, there is this little nagging hesitation tucked away in the back corner of my mind.
He worries I will change my mind in two years and then regret the decision to have him get a vasectomy. I don't worry about that happening too much. I mean, if we were five years younger, than yes, I would want to consider having another. But we aren't. I turn 33 in a couple of weeks and Dan is 39.
How do you decide when you are done having children? Is it normal to feel a little sad about it? Did you ever regret your decision?
I'm writing this blog to keep friends and family up to speed on what's happening at our house! Also, I hope it will create a nice "memory book"... a reminder of sorts about what life was like when my kids were little. I post updates about my kids, my life, my thoughts, my feelings. Let's face it..life is anything but a piece of cake!
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Kate, K, Katie bird
Loves: Kindergarten, reading, dancing, playing Barbies, everything princess, and making new friends
Dislikes: white milk, big changes in life, having to say goodbye, and onions
Dislikes: white milk, big changes in life, having to say goodbye, and onions
5 comments:
I'm not sure if you caught my post, but I wrote about this same thing a few weeks ago. We are done with two kids, and part of me is REALLY REALLY sad about this. But part of me knows why I am doing it - to give my kids a good life, to travel, to be financially stable. Still makes me sad.
Mike would totally have a V, but we decided not to for a variety of reasons. 1) I have to be on birth control all the time anyway for my PCOS. 2) Heaven forbid anything happened to one of our kids and they needed gene therapy, we may want to have another baby. 3) Heaven forbid anything were to happen to me, and I died, I would want my husband to remarry and find happiness again, and what if the woman he found was younger and wanted babies? How can I deny him that? I know it's morbid to think about, but it was in my warped little brain nonetheless.
Kevin and I are done after two as well. Mostly this has to do with my age. I will be going on 35 by the time this baby is born and if we wait a reasonable amount of time between another one I would be closer to 40 then I care to think about.
We also took a long time to decide on #2. We felt like one was good and two would be great/icing on the cake so to speak but scary none the less. Also as two people who a several years back when we first met thought we would NEVER have kids, having kids period was huge decision. We do not in any way shape or form regret having kids now and we could not imagine life without Matthew. Once we had Matthew, the thought of two and only two was what we always talked about.
We feel like two is a complete package for us. We can afford two. And really for me it is a limit thing. I am tired a lot and while I used to wonder why people have kids so young I can now understand this far more. I had much more energy at 24 then I have at 34. I can hardly imagine how I will be feeling 44!
And finally and most selfishly I too want to enjoy watching my kids growing up and both Kevin and I would like to retire early if possible so we can do that. If we had more children that would not happen as quickly as we would like.
I would have to say that both Kevin and I are on the same page, there is no doubt that two is our limit for all those reasons and I am okay with that. I feel blessed and lucky to have Matthew and this upcoming baby - that I have had this experience that just a few short years ago I believed I would just never have and I am happier then I have been with what I have!
sometimes its decided for you...
I feel like we are supposed to have one more. I don't know exactly why but it's just something that I feel. Although, Jason has said that he feels like 2 kids is the right size for our family. We'll probably step back in a year or so and look at things to decide if we want to try for a third.
Though I would like to say that this won't be our last, I know my husband has different ideas. And even if I thought I would be content with 2, I think that at some point, no matter what, I would have some questions about whether or not we should have another one.
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