Monday, August 31, 2009

True Confessions

1. I smile every time I hear Pete from Mickey Mouse Clubhouse say "Mickey the Mouse". Then I say it too.

2. I hate that my baby boy has been sick, but have LOVED having him sleep with me the past two nights.

3. The other day I was driving to a friend's birthday party and was humming the theme from "The Berenstein Bears". There were no kids in my car.

4. The thought of my kids playing with the germ-infested toys in the doctor's office waiting room makes me want to hurl. But, I totally considered letting my coughing, sneezing, snot dripping son play with them this morning. (I said "considered"... don't worry, I kept him occupied with a snack on my lap instead)

5. Sometimes I feel sad that my kids look nothing like me. Not that I am vain, but hey, a little resemblance wouldn't be bad.

Sunday, August 30, 2009

The truth of things

Another post stolen from my friend Kelly, who got it from another blog. I found so many of these to be true, I had to share them!


-I wish Google Maps had an “Avoid Ghetto” routing option.

-More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can think about is that I can’t wait for them to finish so that I can tell my own story that’s not only better, but also more directly involves me.

-Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong.

-I don’t understand the purpose of the line, “I don’t need to drink to have fun.” Great, no one does. But why start a fire with flint and sticks when they’ve invented the lighter?

-Have you ever been walking down the street and realized that you’re going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to be going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the direction from which you came, you have to first do something like check your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to yourself to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you’re crazy by randomly switching directions on the sidewalk.

-That’s enough, Nickelback.

-I totally take back all those times I didn’t want to nap when I was younger.

-Is it just me, or are 80% of the people in the “people you may know”
feature on Facebook people that I do know, but I deliberately choose not to be friends with?

-Do you remember when you were a kid, playing Nintendo and it wouldn’t work? You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would magically fix the problem. Every kid in America did that, but how did we all know how to fix the problem? There was no internet or message boards or FAQ’s. We just figured it out. Today’s kids are soft.

-There is a great need for sarcasm font.

-Sometimes, I’ll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the f was going on when I first saw it.

-I think everyone has a movie that they love so much, it actually becomes stressful to watch it with other people. I’ll end up wasting 90 minutes shiftily glancing around to confirm that everyone’s laughing at the right parts, then making sure I laugh just a little bit harder (and a millisecond earlier) to prove that I’m still the only one who really, really gets it.

-How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

-I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.
- I think part of a best friend’s job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
-The only time I look forward to a red light is when I’m trying to finish a text.

- A recent study has shown that playing beer pong contributes to the spread of mono and the flu. Yeah, if you suck at it.

- Was learning cursive really necessary?

- Lol has gone from meaning, “laugh out loud” to “I have nothing else to say”.

- I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

- Answering the same letter three times or more in a row on a Scantron test is absolutely petrifying.

- My brother’s Municipal League baseball team is named the Stepdads.
Seeing as none of the guys on the team are actual stepdads, I inquired about the name. He explained, “Cuz we beat you, and you hate us.”
Classy, bro.

- Whenever someone says “I’m not book smart, but I’m street smart”, all I hear is “I’m not real smart, but I’m imaginary smart”.

- How many times is it appropriate to say “What?” before you just nod and smile because you still didn’t hear what they said?

- I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars teams up to prevent a dick from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers!

- Every time I have to spell a word over the phone using ‘as in examples, I will undoubtedly draw a blank and sound like a complete idiot. Today I had to spell my boss’s last name to an attorney and said “Yes that’s G as in…(10 second lapse)..ummm…Goonies”

-What would happen if I hired two private investigators to follow each other?

- While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and instinctively swerved to avoid it…thanks Mario Kart.

- MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

- Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

- I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in the shower first and THEN turn on the water.

-Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.

- I would like to officially coin the phrase ‘catching the swine flu’ to be used as a way to make fun of a friend for hooking up with an overweight woman. Example: “Dave caught the swine flu last night.”

-I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t at least kind of tired.

- Bad decisions make good stories

-Whenever I’m Facebook stalking someone and I find out that their profile is public I feel like a kid on Christmas morning who just got the Red Ryder BB gun that I always wanted. 546 pictures? Don’t mind if I do!

- Is it just me or do high school girls get sluttier & sluttier every year?

-If Carmen San Diego and Waldo ever got together, their offspring would probably just be completely invisible.

-Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go around and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly nervous? Like I know my name, I know where I’m from, this shouldn’t be a problem….

-You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you’ve made up your mind that you just aren’t doing anything productive for the rest of the day.

-Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don’t want to have to restart my collection.

-There’s no worse feeling than that millisecond you’re sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.

-I’m always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.

- “Do not machine wash or tumble dry” means I will never wash this ever.

-I hate being the one with the remote in a room full of people watching TV. There’s so much pressure. ‘I love this show, but will they judge me if I keep it on? I bet everyone is wishing we weren’t watching this. It’s only a matter of time before they all get up and leave the room. Will we still be friends after this?’

-I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Dammit!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What’d you do after I didn’t answer? Drop the phone and run away?

- I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

-When I meet a new girl, I’m terrified of mentioning something she hasn’t already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.

-I like all of the music in my iTunes, except when it’s on shuffle, then I like about one in every fifteen songs in my iTunes.

-Why is a school zone 20 mph? That seems like the optimal cruising speed for pedophiles…

- As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.

-Sometimes I’ll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

-It should probably be called Unplanned Parenthood.

-I keep some people’s phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

-Even if I knew your social security number, I wouldn’t know what do to with it.

-Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, hitting the G-spot, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey – but I’d bet my ass everyone can find and push the Snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time every time…

-My 4-year old son asked me in the car the other day “Dad what would happen if you ran over a ninja?” How the hell do I respond to that?

-It really pisses me off when I want to read a story on CNN.com and the link takes me to a video instead of text.

-I wonder if cops ever get pissed off at the fact that everyone they drive behind obeys the speed limit.

-I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

-I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lites than Kay.

-The other night I ordered takeout, and when I looked in the bag, saw they had included four sets of plastic silverware. In other words, someone at the restaurant packed my order, took a second to think about it, and then estimated that there must be at least four people eating to require such a large amount of food. Too bad I was eating by myself. There’s nothing like being made to feel like a fat bastard before dinner.

Monday, August 24, 2009

Wake up call

Our mornings have gotten better and better of late. Our children have been sleeping in until 7:30 -8:00 am. Which is AWESOME! Even if we stay up to watch our 10pm shows, it's just not that bad. And just when you think the cute sayings are gone b/c your four year old is soooo old, there is a new one!

This morning this is what we woke up to coming through the baby monitor:

Kate: "Daddy....Daddy.....wooo hooo.....Daddy" (think "yoo hoo" but way cuter)

How can you NOT wake up smiling to that? Even on a Monday!

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Nicki-ology

A fun post from my friend Kelly's blog! Copy it and fill in your answers and post it in the comment section, FB page, or blog

*********** FOODOLOGY***************

What is your salad dressing of choice? Depends on my mood (ranch, blue cheese, 1000 island, vinagarette)

What is your favorite sit-down restaurant? PF Changs

What food could you eat every day for two weeks and not get sick of? cereal

What are your pizza toppings of choice? cheese, ham and pineapple, stms barbecue

What do you like to put on your toast? butter

***********TECHNOLOGY***************

How many televisions are in your house? 3 (one in family room, one in basement, one dead one in the garage)

What color is your cellphone? black

Do you have an iPod? of course

***************BIOLOGY******************
Are you right-handed or left-handed? Right

Have you ever had anything removed from your body? My wisdom teeth; my children

What is the last heavy item you lifted? idk, my son?

Have you ever been knocked unconscious? yes

************BULLOLOGY**************
If it were possible, would you want to know the day you were going to die? yes

If you could change your name, what would you change it to? I like my name

Would you drink an entire bottle of hot sauce for $1000? no

**************FAVORITOLOGY****************
Season? Fall

Holiday? Christmas

Day of the week? Sunday

Month? October

***********CURRENTOLOGY*****************
Missing someone? Not really

Mood? calm

What are you listening to? all kinds of things

Current worry? not too worried right now

***************RANDOMOLOGY*****************
First place you went this morning? The potty

What's the last movie you saw? The Ugly Truth- great!

***************OTHER-OLOGY*****************
How many pairs of flip flops do you own? 1

Last time you had a run-in with the cops? Oh my...years ago.

Last person you talked to? Kelly

Last person you hugged? Kate

Do you always answer your phone? No.

It's four in the morning and you get a text message, who is it? hmmmm...not sure, could be anyone really

If you could change your eye color what would it be? I like my eye color

Do you own a digital camera? Yes

Have you ever had a pet fish? yes

Favorite Christmas song(s)? The Christmas Song by Nat Cole

What's on your wish list for your birthday? don't have a list yet

Can you do push ups? Sure, but do I? no.

Can you do the splits? Nope

Does the future make you more nervous or excited? Excited

Do you have any saved texts? No

Have you ever been in a car accident? Yes

Do you have an accent? I don't think so.

What is the last movie to make you cry? I can't remember.

Plans tonight? Work work work

Have you ever felt like you hit rock bottom? yes

Name 3 things you bought yesterday? popcorn, diet coke, birthday card

Have you ever been given roses? Yes...but its been way too long

Met someone who changed your life? Yes

How will you bring in the New Year? Hopefully giving my hubby a smooch

What song represents you? there are many

Name two people who might complete this? unsure

Would you go back in time if you were given the chance? yes

Have you ever dated someone longer than a year? Yes

Do you have any tattoos/piercings? just ears pierced

Does anyone love you? Yes

Would you be a pirate? No

What songs do you sing in the shower? I don't sing in the shower, but there is always one playing in my head

Ever had someone sing to you? yes...LOVE it!

When did you last cry? The other night after talking to my daughter about Kindergarten

Do you like to cuddle? Yes, but I don't get enough of it

Have you held hands with anyone today? No

Who was the last person you took a picture of? kate and jack

Are most of the friends in your life new or old? a mixture of both

Do you like pulpy orange juice? Not really.

What is something your friends make fun of you for? talking too much probably

Sunday, August 16, 2009

The fourth year....




Four!!!!

Dear Kate,

How on earth you can already be four years old is beyond my comprehension. I cannot believe it! You are so smart, baby girl. You are on the verge of reading, are doing some simple addition, writing your name, and are so ready to go to school. Daddy and I have mixed feelings about you starting school next Fall, as you will no doubt be the youngest in your grade. However, it is impossible to imagine holding you back until you are six, since you are so ready this year!

You are still very much a dancer and performer. You pretend, pretend, pretend, all day long. When I ask you what you want to be when you grow up, it changes depending on the day. But mostly you answer, "A dancer AND a mommy." You have a best friend now, and love having girl time. Your social network has broadened and you have also made a couple of good friends at dance class. Everyone we meet when we are out and about, you deem as your friend. You are a dear, sweet girl.

This year you took a full nine months of dance and loved every minute of it. There was a big recital in June and you did GREAT! You didn't even hestitate when they moved you up into the front row b/c the little girl who was there ran off the stage crying. My big girl! You have been taking swimming lessons all summer and are starting to feel more comfortable in the water. You are more comfortable getting your face wet and have begun floating on your back and belly.

You are very much into princesses, singing, dress up, and all things GIRL. You love playing with baby dolls, people, and doll houses. You are also pedaling your big girl bike this summer and are VERY PROUD of yourself for that big accomplishment. Your fave colors are pink and purple and you ask Mommy almost every day if they are my fave colors too. ;)

Daddy and I are so proud of the big/little girl you have become. You are kind and thoughtful, although have no problems speaking your mind when you are in a familiar situation. You love having a little brother and are such a good role model for him. You have already taught him so much! I am amazed at all he has picked up from you! You completely amaze me at how brave you are! You want to ride "big kid" rides when we are at carnivals, despite not being quite tall enough to do so yet. On our recent trip to Holiday World, you even went on a big water slide with Daddy and a roller coaster with Mommy. (Even though Mommy was about to back out at the last minute, even though it was a "kid" coaster.)

You amaze us every day with all that you are learning and thinking about. You are such a smart and beautiful soul. We are so thankful God blessed us with you.

All my love,

Mommy