Father time...or Mother time, rather

I have been feeling old lately. Not like "one foot in the grave" old, but definitely older. The other day I was in my house with my children peacefully sleeping in their rooms. I had this moment where it dawned on me that I was a grown up. Does that ever happen to you? I mean, I am thirty-four years old and am at an age where I REMEMBER my parents being this age. And I am pretty sure they were grown ups. In some ways, it feels overwhelming and disconcerting. Am I a grown up? When did this happen? How come nobody told me? Most of the time, I feel like I am just pretending to be grown up. Does anyone else feel like that?

I started thinking about what criteria made me consider people "grown ups" when I was a kid. Here is my list thus far...

Grown ups:

1. Have nice houses
2. Drink coffee in the mornings
3. Sometimes have children
4. Have jobs that don't require clocking in/out
5. Have bank accounts that actually have savings in it
6. Have or has had a life partner
7. Make food in crock pots
8. Hide certain junk food from the other people living in their home
9. Have gray hair
10. Have cars that aren't junky
11. Appreciate clothing/shoes that do not come from the local discount store
12. Listen to NPR
13. Watch the world news at night
14. Are interested in learning more. Especially about things they cared nothing
about when they were in school. Like history. And science. And foreign
language.
15. Eat fruits and vegetables on purpose
16. Have a hangover from drinking two or more glasses of wine
17. Are viewed as "professionals" in their field of work
18. Start telling the same stories over and over again
19. Lecture their kids even when they KNOW the kids are not listening
20. Complain about their knees/neck/back hurting alot

Well...shit. The verdict is in.